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Stay tuned for tips on living joy from the book, LIVE YOUR JOY and behind the scenes pics and video!
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Are you smarter than a 14 year old? (Part I)

It all started one Saturday morning when Darcy’s cousin in New Zealand emailed this note asking her for advice:

Dear Darcy,

What is your secret to being so happy? I don't mean to sound blunt, but I don't really know any other way of putting it. When you come round to my place you always seem to be so happy about everything.  You even like doing some of your homework and you even seem to enjoy school. I’m wondering how to be that happy because I've noticed a lot that I’m not a very happy person and I want to be a happier person :)  Do you think you could give me some advice?

Thank you
From your cousin Andrew


Still in her pajamas and leaning over her Mac book, Darcy pounded out the following response in fifteen minutes:

To be totally honest, Andrew, I'm not always happy - especially as happy I am to be with you guys when I am visiting in NZ. I have my ups and downs just like everyone else.

Just last night I had a good cry and a good heart-to-heart conversation with my mom. It didn't solve all my problems, but it feels good to just let things rise to the surface and talk about them like that every once in awhile and let go of some of the stuff that's been building up. Honestly, I'll do that about every other month or so. It's not perfect, but for me it's almost like emotional spring cleaning - part of a process.

I don't think its possible to be happy 24/7, 365 days a year. It's healthy for human beings get upset, angry, grief ridden, guilty, jealous, and incredibly sad. I think the important thing is that having BOTH positive and negative emotions on a regular basis is "normal", "good", "healthy", etc. (it won't always be balanced, either).

It would be a BAD idea to try and appear happy all the time to vanquish your negative emotions, because its a better idea to listen to what they are telling you about yourself and then let go of them through constructive expression instead. At the same time, it is a GOOD idea to look for ways to make yourself happier on a regular basis.

Why do I enjoy homework?
Well, I don't always enjoy homework... it depends on what it is. Most of the time though, I think the key is making it fun, not pretending that it's fun.

Here's what I mean: say your assignment is to write a ten-page long research paper. One part of this is training your focus and your response. If your focus is on TEN PAGES, WRITTEN PAPER you're not going to have fun with this assignment at all!!! Who wants to write a ten-page research paper? That involves hours of writing and less gaming and hitting my head against a wall and research... wait a second.

Why is that so annoying? The writing (aside from other things): you're probably writing about something boring. The research: you're spending time and effort looking for facts that are ridiculously uninteresting.

Hmmm... Solution to problem? Pick something you are interested in writing about:
-    The cultural effect of computer Role Playing Games on New Zealand youth prior to the 21st century.
-     The relationship between the saxophone and the oboe in modern music.
-    How the evolution of the Elder Scrolls series reflects dramatically changing interests in the global gaming community. (I know you could write more than ten interesting pages about that Andrew.)

And when you don't have that choice, look for aspects or parts of your topic that are interesting. Become interested in whatever you're doing. Granted, this may not always be possible (i.e. quadratic equations may never hold any intrigue for you whatsoever, no matter what). But the point is to make an effort to enjoy your homework. Sometimes you will and sometimes you won't, but I think you will find over time that as you try to do it more and more, the more and more you will find yourself enjoying assignments.

Extra tips: 
Avoid the group mentality of schoolmates who hate the assignments.
Look deeper than your first reactions or responses.

I guess the bottom line is, Andrew:

Choosing to be happy IS NOT ALWAYS AN EASY TASK. Sometimes, it's actually easier to complain, moan, be bummed out, irritated, and annoyed than it is to be happy. Even though it doesn't feel good, a lot of people choose to be negative 80% of time because they would rather feel that why than do the things that would make them happy.

And in some ways, that's a very selfish and very sad choice. For one, those people are giving up on their own well being. Also, choosing not to try to be happy takes a toll on the people around you.

(Continued in t

June 2009 | Blog Comments
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Are you smarter than a 14 year old? (Part II)

Choosing to be happy IS NOT ALWAYS AN EASY TASK. Sometimes, it's actually easier to complain, moan, be bummed out, irritated, and annoyed than it is to be happy. Even though it doesn't feel good, a lot of people choose to be negative 80% of time because they would rather feel that why than do the things that would make them happy.

And in some ways, that's a very selfish and very sad choice. For one, those people are giving up on their own well being. Also, choosing not to try to be happy takes a toll on the people around you.

Choosing to give up on looking for happiness is like getting a serious disease (that everyone on the face of the planet happens to have) and then denying yourself the best available treatment. But because you are not taking the treatment, you have awful symptoms ALL the time instead of SOME of the time and other people's symptoms are worse when they are around you. It's a not a healthy, beneficial thing to do to yourself (and other people).

Anyway, finally, you have to realize that everyone is wondering and asking the same questions that you are. You're not alone.


There you go. I went on and on a bit, but I hope that was at least mildly helpful to you and not incredibly boring if you even read the whole thing. ;D I hope I don't sound too formal/adulty/preachy/technical/philosophical/like-an-article-written-for-teens-by-a-boring-therapist-y.

--  Darcy

Am I just an overly proud mother or is that amazing? So many adults walking around and bumping into the rest of us haven’t figured out any of this stuff yet.  When she so simply and effectively lays out her observations, I want to shout, AHA! Even her detailed examples about how to become more energized around doing homework apply directly to all of us in our jobs, our household chores, our creative juice flowing, and our simply living life. I’d like to think she learned it all from me, but I’m pretty sure I learned most of it from her!

I also wanted to share her writing because it is the best credential I have that actually proves I walk the walk, not just talk the talk, with my latest book, Live Your Joy.   Darcy was incredibly supportive, helpful, and inspirational during the writing of that book.  It’s so great to see her grasping its tenets so completely.  The stories contained within its pages remind us of the ways in which people can blindly make themselves unhappy—while forgetting they have the ability to make themselves happy again by merely shifting their focus.

Inspiration comes from all around you.  I hope you will take a look around at your world – happy or not – and come to the realization, as Darcy does, that you control whether or not you are Living Your Joy.



 

June 2009 | Blog Comments
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Joy to the World!

We coined a new term while I was being interviewed by my friend Amy Kopelan, founder of the GuruNation.com:
     "Vitamin J" for Joy
Stopping to feel joy for five minutes is like taking a vitamin boost!  It changes your energy level, it ups your immune system, and makes you look more attractive!  Take a moment of joy by going outside to look at the sky, closing your eyes and thinking about someone who loves you, or just feeling gratitude.

On Tuesday, I spoke about the book, "Live Your Joy," at a major global firm: Air Products.  We talked about how joy gives you the edge to compete and win.  I shared some ideas on building confidence, being more helpable, and having a portfolio of goals.   Tonight I will be phoning into the Asia meeting to answer questions after they watch the recorded version of the earlier meeting. 
Joy to the World!

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Guru Nation Radio

Join me for a live interview June 8th at 6:00 PM eastern inside The Guru Nation Network.  The topic of this interview with be; “Keeping People Positive in Turbulent Times.”  Some topics discussed will be, how a “portfolio of goals” can help you to be more adaptable, the key ingredient that makes the difference between stars and super-stars, and Extra items that can actually turbo charge your “to-do” list.
 
It’s so simple to sign up! Just click here.  It will prompt you to “sign in” if you’re already in the network, or “click here to register” if you’re not yet a member.  Registration is completely free, and so is the call with me!  As soon as you register, Guru Nation will send you a call-in number so you can join the call and ask me a question!  Make sure to sign-up at least a day ahead so you get registered and receive the call-in number in time!

June 2009 | Blog Comments
Categories: Live Your Joy

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